“It’s neat that you get to travel”
If you travel for work, and you have friends, family, or associates that do not travel for work, then I know you have heard that phrase before. If not, then you have heard a derivative of the same idea. It’s almost always posited by someone who has never traveled for work, or at least has not done it recently enough to remember what it is like. This entry is for you, my bretheren.
In the interest of enlightening my non-traveling friends and relatives, I thought I would compose this little photo essay of sorts. I have been threatening to do it for some time, and something today convinced me to go ahead and pack the camera in my laptop bag. I can now say that the timing could not have been better, because this trip has thoroughly sucked.
It started with arriving at the self check-in kiosks to learn that my flight and hotel reservation were booked for the following day, which is totally wrong. A good dose of juggling with the airline people and then the hotel over the phone assured me that I would at least have somewhere to sleep. The troubling part was that my hotel representative’s renditions of “king”, “queen”, “smoking”, and “non-smoking” were not intelligible enough for me to know what sort of room I would be sleeping in.
I had also been told I was in the emergency exit row, because that was all that was available. That’s the row where you hold the door for everyone if the plane blows up and everyone needs to get out. The airlines try to glorify it by saying it has so much legroom. That is worthless to me, because what that really means is that you have nowhere to put your computer bag except the overhead bin, which is a pain to deal with when you want to get your computer out during the flight.
However, I was in luck! At the gate, they were able to switch me to another seat when I requested to be moved somewhere that allowed me to put my bag under the seat. I was so relieved; good save! Not quite. I hope I never again forget what bulkhead means. Everyone, bulkhead can be expressed in the following manner:
bulkhead < = emergency exit row
This says that bulkhead is less than or equal to the emergency exit row. The bulkhead is basically the front wall of the section you are in. What that means is that you have no place to put your bag with the added advantage of not having any of that extra legroom to worry yourself with. Yep, I had been moved to a bulkhead seat. It is so neat that I get to travel.
The first image I wanted to share was the Baggage Claim. This area is always so much fun, especially on Sunday nights when so many of us are here against our will. It enhances our moods and the overall aura of the scene, kind of like a party, except without adequate rest, comfort, or any of the food and drinks.
This second image is waiting for the bus to come and shuttle you to the nearest public transportation, since the idea of public transportation that goes to an airport hasn’t really caught on in too many places yet.
This is the largely-deserted metro station, where I found out that the bus I was instructed to take doesn’t even run on Sunday. How exciting! After calling the hotel, I learned that I could get on the metro and get off at a stop where the hotel would send a shuttle. Score!
This is the outside of the station where I waited for 45 minutes before the shuttle would come and get me. The first person who told me about the shuttle didn’t go over that detail too much in the first conversation. To my left I saw several cabs, and upon finding out that they wanted $10 to drive me somewhere that was about 5 minutes away, I chose to wait.
At the end of all this mess, you can at last get to your hotel and get settled in, right? Maybe order some room service or have pizza delivered. Here is my room:
Take every smell of an old bar with a dash of homeless person musk and apply it to the image above. I think I have confirmed that “smoking queen” was what my heavily-accented assistant was saying earlier today.
Traveling is so exciting! When you arrive late and choose not to have a car, you get to figure out what restaurants in an alphabetical listing are both near to your hotel and open. When you have no idea where the hell you are, things really get extreme, like snowboarding in pitch black dark!
Inspired by hunger that comes only from missing a couple of meals, I set out for the trusty vending machines I had passed on the way up to my room. There was only a single vending machne for Pepsi beverages, shown below:
Yep, in case you can’t make it out, it says “sold out”. I walked around and found another one:
However, when I looked to the left of the second empty Pepsi machine, I beheld a wonderful site:
I quickly shoved my money into the machine, saving just enough to pick up a beverage somewhere else. Surely there would be another Pepsi machine, and this one would have loads of drinks! Things were looking up. Two machines later, I gave up. I don’t have photos of them, but they’re pretty much like the first two. Below you can see the bounty of my excursion:
Upon opening the chips, I witnessed a new all-time low in just how few chips could be in a bag:
The beef jerky was equally unsettling. As a big beef jerky fan, I found the size of the pieces a bit unsettling:
While lounging in the bathroom, apart from the hot water being on the left and the cold on the right of the faucet, I noticed something odd. There was a label instructing me on how to troubleshoot the hair dryer.
The funny thing is that the outlet has no reset. There is a non-GPF outlet for the hair dryer and coffee maker right by the sink. Here is a view that provides the overall perspective of the outlet.
Imagine your bathroom and dressing area at home. Visualize it in your mind. Now check this out:
Yep, for about a week, that part of my world will exist on a tiny rectangle largely occupied by a sink. Perhaps I will enter more as the week progresses. For now, it’s 4:45 and I have to get up in about 2 hours or so.
It is neat that I get to travel.
<SARCASM>Even though your pictures didn’t show up…it is just so neat that you are able to travel with your job. Get to experience all these new things.</SARCASM>
Yeah I can relate with all the stuff that goes along with travel, but Per Diem is definately a benefit. Being able to see new places is also a benefit. And on some of my business trips I have met some really worthwhile people.
I get the joy of traveling tommorrow on some others company dollar and see what it is like to do that.
Comment by Michael Schmidt — June 21, 2004 @ 11:25 am
Um, I work for the Big Airline here in town, and I have no idea where you got your info on the exit row. I have been in a exit row numerous times, and I am always able to stuff my smaller bags under the seat in front of me. (The only drawback to the two exit seat rows is that the first of the two usually doesn’t recline.)
And you don’t have to remain on the plane until the last person gets off (that’s the flight attendant’s job). All you gots to do is open the door and lay it across the row of seats. Then its every man for the slides.
I always try to get the exit row for the extra legroom, but since I usually travel “nonrevenue” that’s hard to engineer.
And regarding “bulkhead”… both exit row and bulkhead seats are not assigned prior to the day of the flight. (We have to hold bulkhead seats for disabled passengers.) So when the plane is full, and you request a seat change, you will probably find yourself in one or the other. Sorry.
I love traveling — business or non-business. It would suck without my sense of adventure, though.
Comment by Reid — August 13, 2004 @ 11:54 am
Reid,
Thanks for reading and taking the time to post.
Folks, I believe that Reid is right. I think most planes do in fact let you place your bags under the seat in front of you on the emergency exit rows.
However, I think the instructions they recite do mention being able to “open the exit door and assist other passengers”. Plus, it just wouldn’t seem right to open the door and bail on everyone, so the instructions make sense. I was mostly spewing sarcasm in that entry; my apologies.
Reid, that’s great that you love to travel, even for business; someone has to, but it is assuredly not me. You and I probably do have somewhat different senses of adventure. Furthermore, if the conditions, frequency, and length of your travel coupled with your work schedule mirrored my own (in addition to being married), I am not so sure your enthusiasm for travel would be sustained.
Again, thanks for reading and posting – and happy travels ;^)
Comment by Barry Hawkins — August 13, 2004 @ 2:46 pm